I don't think I can improve on my feelings from other years, thus a reprint. SOS grows and moves forward. God bless us all.

May I quote from one of our own when I say, "membership in this group comes with a stiff membership requirement." --Evelyn Roberts

The "price for membership in SOS is too high. None of us would have been willing to pay the price if we'd been given that choice. The "dues" to "join" SOS are not measured in dollars and cents: the dues are measured in the loss of a life and our attempts to make sense out of that loss.

It has been 23 years since eight of us joined forces and held that first SOS meeting on October 26, 1982. Five had lost daughters, one a son, one a husband, and one a mother. All had taken their own lives; they died by their own hand; they died by suicide. Not one of those women would have chosen to pay the dues to be part of that group.

They did choose, however, to exercise their rights as a part of the group. They came together out of a need, out of a bond that formed at a Suicide Conference. Though membership in the group was thrust upon them, they decided to take what was left of their shattered lives and see if, in sharing their pain, they could heal.

It worked...

Twenty-three years later, there are meeting nights when our circle of chairs seems to be almost pushing out the walls of the meeting room. Twenty-three years later we give two books to each new survivor free. Those books are purchased with the donations given to the group by you.

We continue to come together to celebrate the fact that SOS works. We celebrate the fact that there is healing in sharing. We celebrate the fact that we, as a support group, have survived.

October's is the only meeting of the year that I consider an "open" meeting. If you are a friend of SOS but you have not paid the membership "fee," feel free to join us that evening anyway. We will welcome you and rejoice with you that you are not eligible for membership.

If you have not been with us for a while, come back to visit that night. Help us to remember our roots.

Yes the price of membership in SOS is too high... yet, we take what we have been given and we do the best we can with it. We did not choose for someone to die; we did choose how we would live in the wake of that tragedy. We have chosen life.

Let us join to celebrate our personal victory over death. Through the death of someone we loved, we resurrected the "life" of SOS... We arose like a phoenix out of the ashes... We have survived... We are survivors.

Stephanie

On May 28, 1979, Christopher Ward, age 24, was found dead from hanging. He left behind his parents and five brothers and sisters.

On September 5, 1979, Ellen Weber, age 61, was found dead as the result of ingesting an overdose of medication. She left behind two daughters and six grandchildren.

On December 15, 1979, Sheryl Smith, age 20, was found dead from hanging. She left behind her parents and a sister.

On May 19, 1980, Krista Babel, age 17, was found dead as the result of carbon monoxide poisoning. She left behind her parents and four brothers and sisters.

On November 11, 1980, David Sible, age 24, was found dead as the result of ingesting an overdose of medication. He left behind his wife, his parents, and one brother.

On December 28, 1980, Valerie Berger, age 17, was found dead as the result of ingesting an overdose of medication. She left behind her parents and three sisters.

On September 4, 1981, Debbie Schlapp, age 22, was found dead as the result of ingesting an overdose of medication. She left behind her parents and a brother.

On December 12, 1981, Lynn Ann Luettich, age 24, was found dead as the result of a gunshot wound to the head. She left behind her parents and five brothers and sister.

Photo: Corel Professional Photos Sampler

• You can expect to be in shock at first. You may feel emotional numbness that is frightening to you.

• You may struggle to believe and to disbelieve that this could happen to you.

• It has happened.
  It is real.

• Recognize that a loss has occurred.

• Keep in mind, at the beginning, there is an end . . . You will heal.

• Somehow the camaraderie of mutual suffering eases the pain.

• You have comrades.

• You are strong enough.

• You will survive.

Survivors Of Suicide exists because surviving a death by suicide of a loved one, a family member, or a friend, is different from:

• a terminal illness

• accidental causes

• homicide

• sudden illness

• natural causes

We have deep feelings of abandonment, of guilt.

We may have intense anger, and intense sadness.

We may feel shame or embarrassment.

We feel pain, we ache: we are grieving.

We grieve not only for the person who died by suicide, we grieve for us, the survivors.

SOS can help you through your grief, your ache, your struggle to wholeness.

Some survivors have attended an SOS meeting the day of the funeral. Others have come a few months after; some, a few years later.

There is no timetable for grief.

We will welcome you at any time. We are here when you are ready for us, and for as long as you need us.

We will listen to you.

We care about living, about loving.

We care about you.

"Welcome to this circle where we hope you may find space to grieve, to search, to listen and reach out.

Each one of us brings here a story: the story of our brokenness and sorrow, the story of our survival, our need to get more out of life.

We come here to be with people who understand our struggle and our hurt: they too have tears in their hands and pain in their hearts.

This is a sacred place where we can explore our feelings: our loneliness, our shock, our anger, our guilt, our sadness or whatever is hurting us inside. This is a place where we can share our humanity and find strength and inspiration in each other . . .

Although we remain deeply wounded people, let us find comfort and healing in what we believe and in our ability to care for each other."

Father Arnaldo Pangrazzi, Chaplain
St. Joseph's Hospital
Waukesha, Wisconsin

To participate:

1. Choose a picture of your loved one--a snapshot or portrait shot--anything at all.
2. Write out what words and dates you want next to his/her picture--poem, quote, anything meaningful to you and your family and friends.
3. Send the writing and picture with $10 to cover the cost of the block to:
   Sherry Bryant
   30W379 Pinehurst
   Naperville, IL 60563
   or
   Stone Manor
   Suicide Prevention Services
   528 S. Batavia Ave.
   Batavia, IL 60510

There were seven people at the first SOS meeting. People continue to join us for our monthly meetings. The mailing list for the newsletter - "MAYDAY" - continues to grow.

Survivors Of Suicide meets the third Monday of every month at the Advent Christian Church, 905 N. Edgelawn, Aurora, Illinois, 7:00 - 9:00 p.m.

For more information, call 630-482-9696 - Suicide Prevention Services.

Donations should be mailed to:

SOS
c/o Stephanie Weber
528 South Batavia Avenue
Batavia, IL 60510